...Wasn't Expecting That

Chelsea 3-5 Arsenal

Many would have feared for Arsenal in the lead-up to this clash. Chelsea had just suffered a noble defeat to QPR, dominating the game and unlucky to lose despite playing with nine men for more than half the contest.

Arsenal had been labouring to victory in matches they were once expected to win comfortably. But progress is progress, and results had improved hugely since the dark days of Old Trafford and Ewood Park.

The worry for many, and certainly me, was that another capitulation against Chelsea would send Arsenal back into crisis mode.

In fairness, some of the worries about Arsenal were well-founded. Their defending for much of the first half was shambolic. But the mental weakness that so often accompanies and exacerbates the defensive vulnerability was not as evident as in the past. And to add a further excitement to what became a surreal game, Chelsea provided their own moments of uncertainty at the back, and contrived to outdo the Gunners in the self-destruction stakes.

Twice Arsenal fell behind to fairly soft goals- and twice they roared back.

The game started in a raging whirlwind of goalmouth action. A minute had not passed before Ashley Cole exposed the downward-spiralling Djourou, offering a poor impression of a right back, and only a timely intervention from Koscielny prevented Torres from latching onto the low cross.

Santos on the other wing was faring no better, and Arsenal's suicidally high line was next broken down his flank, but this time Sturridge dithered too long over an obvious pass across to Torres, and when it came the low ball was too close to Szczesny.

Arsenal responded with menace, and Theo Walcott twice showed uncharacteristic productivity, only for others to waste his good work. First, he was released down the right after excellent breakaway play by Arteta and Ramsey. Cole was left for dead on the touchline, and the low cross was perfectly measured for the onrushing Gervinho, but with Cech making a desperate lunge to save the ball, the Ivorian was put off and screwed an awkward effort wide.

Similar poor finishing by Gervinho had been punished by Tottenham during Arsenal's last defeat and one would have been forgiven for thinking that would be the case again as, after Van Persie skied another chance from another excellent Walcott cross, Chelsea hit the front.

Terry hit an accurate, raking crossfield pass that left Mata facing up to Santos, and the Spaniard easily cut inside the Brazilian before whipping in a vicious cross. With Mertesacker looking flat-footed and unable to head clear, Lampard ghosted in in trademark fashion and placed an emphatic header past Szczesny.

Sturridge had a chance to give Chelsea a two goal cushion. Lampard lofted a first time pass over Arsenal's backline but Sturridge screwed the bouncing ball well wide of the goal, and Arsenalk were still in the game.

The first equaliser was the result of Ramsey's creativity and Gervinho's unselfishness. The Welshman threaded a Cescesque ball through Chelsea's static rearguard and Gervinho squared cleverly to Van Persie as Cech came out. The finish was a formality. Gervinho's pass was simple, and clearly the efficient option, but it remains the kind of pass that professional footballers often fail to spot in the heat of the moment.

Chelsea responded well to the setback. Sturridge soon had the ball in the net, but from an offside position, and as the interval approached, Terry bundled in Lampard's corner after as Arsenal defended with their typical lack of authority- Mertesacker culpable again.

2-1 down at half time, but Arsenal had surely noticed that Chelsea were far from watertight at the back, and set about testing the Blues again straight from kick off. Ramsey hooked a half chance over the bar after Gervinho had roasted Bosingwa. Then Song turned skilfully in midfield and hit a peach of a left footed pass to release Santos, who had left Sturridge trailing. The defender, enduring a torrid afternoon to that point, bore down on Cech and slipped a shot under his right leg for 2-2.

The staggering openness of the match continued. For the third time, a Lampard pass opened up Arsenal with worrying simplicity, and Cole reached the ball first only to be upended by a desperate Szczesny. The keeper had the look of a man who expected a red card, as did most of the viewing public, but he got away with a yellow; a vital moment.

Arsenal took the lead for the first time. Walcott ran at the Chelsea defence with Cole busy complaining about a soft free kick award. The winger tripped himself up, then jumped to his feet as the home defenders hesitated, and after a nice trick and aburst of acceleration, he was through on goal. He blasted his shot inside Cech's near post and a surreal game had a rather surreal goal.

There was more to come. Although Arsenal defended deeper and with more authority for much of the second period, they were undone with ten minutes to go by some more slack play from Santos, some poor refereeing, and some bad luck. The Brazilian presented the ball to Mereiles with a poor pass but looked set to seize on the latter's heavy touch before he was blocked off by Lukaku. No whistle sounded, and the ball was moved inside to Mata. His shot took a hefty deflection off the sliding Song and looped wickedly into the top corner of Szczesny's goal. In recent years, Arsenal have so rarely come out on top in a high-scoring game, and it seemed that hoodoo was to continue.

Instead, it was Chelsea who imploded in the closing stages. Malouda panicked Terry with an overhit backwards pass that had Van Persie interested. The two seemed set for a foot race until the troubled England captain slipped (or, as some have mischievously suggested, took a deliberate fall). Van Persie had a clear run on goal. He calmly rounded Cech and slotted home and Arsenal were in front again.

4-4 is a familiar result for Arsenal of late and there were some predictable moments of panic at the back before a stoppage time counter attack saw Arteta release Van Persie again. The Dutchman took a touch and then leathered a swerving shot past Cech and inside the near post. Arsenal celebrated wildly after this goal and after the full time whistle.

Can the revival continue? Suddenly a top four finish looks possible again.

Clichy: Don't Let The Door Hit You On The Way Out

When Ashley Cole left Arsenal in such acrimonious circumstances in 2006, there was widespread belief amongst Arsenal fans that it wasn't that bad a deal. Arsenal had received money, and William Gallas. And Gael Clichy had always looked too good to just play understudy all his career. People thought he was ready to step up.

So how did that work out?

Well, Gallas was a fine defender. But he and Kolo Toure did not form a complimentary partnership. They were probably too similar- quick and hard to beat along the ground, relatively weak in the air.

Then there was the legacy of his season as captain. In 07/08, he started in inspirational mood, scoring some important goals. But as Arsenal suffered the first of many title race implosions in recent years, Gallas buckled under the pressure. He exploded at Birmingham after a certain Mr. Clichy gave away a penalty with a mistake of awe-inspiring stupidity.

He was eventually stripped of the captaincy but fans never really forgave Gallas for his tantrum at the end of the Birmingham game. It was pretty embarrassing stuff, but I always felt for Gallas a bit. He had come from Chelsea, where he was surrounded by big characters, to Arsenal, where he was asked to be the big character. He was never really captain material.

His poor relationship with Toure meant that Kolo left in 2009, and his poor relationship with Nasri probably contributed to Gallas's own departure in 2010. In other words, while it was not all Gallas's fault, he ended up causing more problems than he solved in his time at Arsenal.

But what about Clichy- how did he fare in trying to replace Ashley Cole?

Being lenient, you would say he has been an adequate left back, but certainly not as good as his predecessor. Being a little more harsh, but honest, you would say that he has often been a downright liability. 07/08 may well have been his best season- he even produced a few decent crosses for once- but it was tarnished in a big way by the aforementioned mistake against Birmingham. And it's not as if we hadn't been warned- he made a very similar error, one that also cost Arsenal a goal but not the game, against Manchester City a few weeks earlier. His game has been sprinkled with errors ever since that season. His concentration and consistency are just not up to scratch. You won't win titles with a left back like that.

Clichy's problems are made more clear by Sagna on the other side, who is a real seven out of ten every week full back- solid and reliable. He is better in defence and, although not a frightening player going forward, he is certainly more productive than Clichy- although he could also do with improving his crossing.

The sad fact is, as much as Arsenal fans would hate to admit it, they have missed Ashley Cole hugely. He has almost always, since his departure, been one of the two or three best left backs in the world. When Clichy first came to Arsenal and broke into the team while Cole was injured, there was genuine hope that Wenger had unearthed a Cole Clone. The truth has been rather different. In fact, Mathieu Flamini was a more reliable defender at left back in the run to the Champions League final of 2006 than Clichy has ever been.

Now, with a year to run on his contract, Clichy has refused a new deal and seems certain to leave this summer. Because of his contract situation, it will be a cut-price deal, and Liverpool have apparently just offered 5 million pounds for his services.

Wenger may be loathe to sell to a fellow Premiership club, but while Clichy has been a decent servant to the club, and was no doubt a popular figure in the largely French dressing room, he should not be sorely missed.

Some will now suggest the promotion of Kieran Gibbs but that would be a little rash. His impact in the games he has played has often been overstated- as these things often are where young English players are concerned. More importantly, he spends far too much time out injured to be trusted with the role. In other words, it looks like Arsene Wenger has yet another pressing transfer priority for this summer- a reliable left back.

Only a Slight Exaggeration

Wayne Rooney could borrow Ashley Cole's air rifle tonight, shoot one of the Chelsea players in full view of the referee, and he still wouldn't even get booked.

Rooney's elbow on James McCarthy at the weekend, and the staggering absence of punishment that has followed, is the joke that's been told too many times. The running joke that is now an embarrassment to the Premiership.

Manchester United players can do whatever they want, almost all of the time. Alex Ferguson is bigger than the FA.

Depleted Chelsea Torn aSunder

see what I did there?

Chelsea let a few squad players go in the summer. Carvalho, Deco and Ballack weren't exactly setting the world alight but they were reliable pros who could step in and do a job. Their squad isn't as deep as it used to be and the signs are that it's already starting to creak. They've dealt well with Lampard's prolonged absence, but losing Essien was a Bridge too far and their impressive home record this season was obliterated by an adventurous Sunderland team. Fair play to them. It's all very well saying Chelsea were under-strength but it still needed a team with the balls to exploit it.

As well as their midfield problems, Chelsea were without Terry and Alex, and Gyan and Wellbeck were breaking their makeshift backline almost at will. Cech actually kept the score down, and Ivanovic should have seen a red card for a blatant professional foul, only for a gutless Chris Foy to wield a wimpy yellow one.

Sunderland's first two goals were great efforts, a slalom and scuff from Onuoha and a sweeping move finished confidently by Gyan. Their third was slotted by Wellbeck from a beautiful Ashley Cole cross.

Fortunes are changing so regularly this season. Arsenal's season felt doomed to mediocrity last weekend. Liverpool thought they'd turned a corner. Now the gloom has returned to Merseyside and optimism will rise again in North London. Chelsea were until recently seen as hot favourites to retain their crown; today has raised serious questions about that assumption.

But who will push them closest? United are still struggling to win away games. Arsenal will hope to lay down a marker in the North London derby next weekend.

Premiership Team of the Noughties

I had the misfortune to turn on Talksport one night recently and listen to Stan collymore harp on in a vaguely xenophobic manner about his "team of the decade" in the Premiership. After he dismissed Robert Pires from his rightful position on the left of such a dream team, on the supposed grounds that he LAcKED END PRODUcT, i could take no more.
So here is my riposte to mr. collymore and all of his dumbass callers- especially the guy who suggested Didi Fucking Hamann in central midfield. Admittedly, about half the team will probably be the same as his, but anyway...

1. SHAY GIVEN
I suppose there's still a question mark hanging over Given, and it goes a little something like this: if he's a truly great keeper, isn't it something of an unfortunate coincidence that he seems to always find himself behind a shambolic defence? Does he lack the organisational skills that would render it unnecessary for him to be making five amazing saves every game? Or is it his relative lack of height as a goalkeeper that dissuaded any of the Big Four from ever making a move for him?
Despite these reservations, it remains that Given has been, over the last decade, an unsurpassed shotstopper in the English game. Van Der Sar and perhaps Petr cech could be seen as rivals for this spot but the former always struck me at United as a merely very decent keeper playing behind an exceptional defence, whereas the latter has suffered a crippling loss of form, understandably perhaps, since the Stephen Hunt incident.

2. GARY NEVILLE
consistency wins the day here. He's never been the most pyrotechnic of full-backs, but in terms of longevity and reliability he hasn't had much competition in the past decade. And a shedload of medals doesn't do any harm either. This was probably the easiest choice. Arsenal have had good right backs and Lauren deserves credit for his part in the glories of 02 and 04. Let's hope that in the coming years Bacary Sagna makes himself a shoo-in for the best right back of whatever the next decade is going to be called.

5. JOHN TERRY
I had to think long and hard about this one. I wanted one centre back adept at carrying the ball out, and one big stopper- so it soon became a question of Terry vs campbell. I've had to go for Terry, probably because we haven't had the pleasure of viewing his inevitable decline yet.

6. RIO FERDINAND
This is a poignant choice in a way because there is already a whiff of stagnation about Ferdinand, not just on account of his injury problems but also due to his form. As a ball-playing centre back who sweeps up behind an aggressive partner, he had serious competition from our own Bill Gallas and Ricardo carvalho. But you have to admit that for the last few years especially Ferdinand was imperious and he seemed to have a special place in his pocket reserved for Thierry Henry.

3. ASHLEY cOLE
Moving swiftly on...

11. cRISTIANO RONALDO
So far this team is populated almost exclusively by players I have an intense hatred for. What an awful decade. Here it was a battle between Beckham and the Portuguese ponce. If you gave Ronaldo Beckham's delivery, it would be frightening, but as it is Ronaldo is superior in every other department. And, apart from the ability to score a whopping forty goals in one season- comprising tap-ins, solo goals, twenty-yard thunderbolts, free kicks, penalties, and salmon-leap headers- it's his searing pace that really seals the deal and makes Beckham look a little one-dimensional.

4. and 8. PATRIcK VIEIRA and ROY KEANE
At first I was thinking of picking one of these guys, and a more obviously attack-minded player like Lampard or Gerrard to partner. But here is my logic for picking these two. Firstly, I'm playing a 4-4-2, and Gerrard and Lampard have in my view always been at their impressive best playing in a 4-3-3 or 4-5-1 with two other central players to aid them with the workload and allow them to roam forward quite freely. I'm not convinced that either have proven themselves as true midfield generals in the mold of Vieira and Keane in their pomp. Perhaps this is indicative of one big change in the last few years of top-level football. Whereas a decade or so ago, we had players who played from box to box and could dominate games almost single-handedly, now midfield play is more specialist. Neither Vieira or Keane were simply holding players. Both were terrific ball-winners but could also be termed playmakers- witness Keane's famous performance in Turin in '99 where his hypnotic passing provided the platform for United's great comeback. But with the now widespread use of Makalele-style water carriers, it is usually possible to call a midfielder either attacking or defensive, and most teams have one player or even two focussed on shielding the back four. Illustrative of my point is the problem that England had with pairing Lampard and Gerrard in a 4-4-2, with neither really capable of curbing their offensive instincts. Vieira and Keane would never have had that problem. Both could drive forward to devastating effect at different times, with one always willing to drop back and add stability and solidity.
All that being said, there are still players of that ilk today. The fantastic Michael Essien could easily play in a 4-4-2, rampaging from box to box. It is an impossible fantasy of mine to see him in tandem with Fabregas, although both are now playing those aforementioned specialist roles in three or four-man midfields.
Anyway, sorry for banging on, what I really just wanted to say was, Keane and Vieira in tandem, early part of the last decade- when you were done shitting your pants, what would you do to beat that?

7. ROBERT PIRES
Despite Ryan Giggs' recent renaissance, there was only one winner of the left-wing spot. Football Writers Player of the year in 2002 after an astonishing season of roaming creativity from the wing, Pires reinvented himself subtly after a knee injury as a goalscoring midfielder who scored peaches and poached goals in equal number. He had a wonderful understanding with my team's left back, not to mention its two strikers....

10. DENNIS BERGKAMP
I've got to admit this is a sentimental choice in a way, as he is my favourite footballer of all time. But I want my team to be a work of art, not an ungainly battering ram, so there's no better man to drop into the hole and provide the ammo for Pires, Ronaldo and....

9. THIERRY HENRY
I was a bit harsh on him after that handball. He is a bit of a poser but it would be ungrateful to disregard just how staggeringly good this guy was for pretty much eight years on end. Probably, in terms of keeping up an amazing standard for a very long stretch of time, the Premiership's player of the decade. And nearly ever goal was a thing of beauty...